Muted

*Strong language, strong emotions- don't read if disturbing

Pain wants me to shut up

They want me to go back

Stay safe, smile and pretend I like it

Anger wants me to break their faces into small, bloody pieces

Loneliness wants me to drop the bravery and start begging

wants me to become flat

wants me to be silent

silent

silent

obey

Mistakes want to me shut the fuck up

They laugh in my face, shaking their fat faces

Bullies point to my mistakes

push me down

to them I am a piece of shit

silent piece of shit from Moldova

where is that even? they say

I am muted

I encounter people who take, take, take, take take and never give back

I encounter people who lie in my face

I am supposed to be silent

muted

be good, be giving, be kind

be the good

be the understanding

Is being silent good or is that

Conspiracy?

Stupidity?

Isn't that throwing years and years of screaming

down the fucking drain?

I will throw up

Rules want me muted

what is the use- you don't know, shut the fuck up

I speak this- not good, they say

I speak that- shut up, who cares?

I try to say that other thing

I realize I am muted

They muted me

I have no language

I have no voice

I am muted

Muted

Looking into empty eyes

Giving myself away

I hope the wind is strong today...