To survive
To run away
To stay
To cry
To never cry
To pretend I'm not there
To laugh out loud in the middle of the night
To work and work hard
To bend joy before responsibility
To work at making life work
To work
To work
To work
To work and have little
To clean, to cook, to make everything shine
To stay alert when alone
To stay alert when someone is there
To doubt myself
To stay inside
To never be inside
To behave
To fast
To eat too much
To clean myself till bleeding
To not care about myself
To never say I am cold, I am hungry, I am tired, I am hurt
I am lonely
To stay in line
To shut the fuck up
To grow the fuck up
To speak the fuck up
All at once
To doubt what I am saying
To feel uneasy within myself
To never wear pants
To hate dresses
To avoid looking at myself
To cut myself out of anything lucky, young and funny
To wait
To fulfill orders
To be the savior
To expect to be understood without saying anything
To expect to be liked while doubting it will happen
To fear not being liked
To give a fuck about being liked
All at once
To help and sooth
To be there when the world crashes and let them cry on my shoulder
To smile when life is hard
To cry afterwards
To imagine how could it be
To hold myself back
To say I will not and then still do
To make up my own words
To give new meanings
To turn to angels
To hear voices
To see the unseen
To see the impossible
To step into it and say I can make it work
To fill the void
To make it all work
To forget about myself
To forget
To forget
To forget
To forgive
To forgive
To choose to forgive
To choose to love
Anyway...
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